


In The Past

by redprincessofdawn



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, broken friendship angst, no comfort really lol, this is hakyona to be clear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 14:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redprincessofdawn/pseuds/redprincessofdawn
Summary: "He’d pictured himself in the crowd watching the ceremony with watery eyes, throwing chestnuts to be caught, hugging them both after everything was over. His own fortunate dream that he knew would only ever remain such, and yet it was being fulfilled. And perhaps that hurt more—not his dream never being fulfilled, but his dream being fulfilled with someone else in his place."Suwon watches his old friends on the happiest night of their lives, more hurt than he'd like to admit that he wasn't invited.





	In The Past

“Hey, Mister King Guy.”

The figure sitting amongst thick shrubbery in long, subversive robes froze, still as death in his hiding place. The young man, wild-haired and grinning, plops down in the bushes next to him. Like all the other guests tonight, his robes are expensive and fancy—probably supplied by Lord Mundeok’s wallet.

“You’re…”

“I’m Zeno!” Says the young man, cheerily. “And mister king guy is lucky Zeno noticed Seiryuu see you. Seiryuu is protective of the Mister and Miss’s happiness and he might have just snuck over and killed you if Zeno hadn’t told him no.”

Suwon heaves a sigh, hand to his temple. “Well, thank you.” He’d heard rumors of the dragon man with super-powered eyes, and though he’d seen the dragon’s for himself in the past, he’d been cautious about how seriously he took them.

“Don’t thank Zeno,” The yellow dragon says, and suddenly the cheeriness to his large blue eyes dulled to something more predatory. “Because I won’t hesitate to hurt you either, if you have any intention of ruining this night for Miss and Mister.”

“I have no such intention,” Suwon whispers, tugging at the edges of his hood to cover his golden fringe.

“Good,” Said Zeno, and as abruptly as it had crept into his gaze, the predatory glint was gone. “Zeno thought as much, he just wanted to make sure.”

The pair peers out between the shrubbery before them, Suwon shifting uncomfortably in the prickly branches. There were many people at the wedding; some he recognized, like those from the Wind Tribe and Lord Mundeok, Lady Lili and Lord Taejun, Queen Kouren and Princess Tao, but many were strangers. A stern-looking old woman who was trying to hide that she dabbed at her eyes, a blonde priest with a fringe so thick it was a wonder he could see at all, and several rowdy men and pretty young women. The ceremony had dispersed some time ago, music starting to fill the lantern light-dappled air with a sweet, syrupy tune as the guests mingled among themselves.

The ceremony had been rather simple, all things considered. It was in a small forest grove in the Wind Tribe, not far from the small hotspring and Inn the honeymoon was to be held in. The bride and groom sit in the corner of the grove, away from prying eyes as they recount the chestnuts gathered during the pyebaek. From even here, Suwon could see the redness that flooded Yona’s entire cheeks and the smug grin that tugged at Hak’s mouth as he, undoubtedly, teased her for catching so many in her skirts.

The chestnut count was in the tens, and the sight of it was enough to make a small huff of a laugh leave Suwon’s throat. _Of course Yona would get so caught up in the game of catching that she forgot that it symbolizes how many children they’re supposed to have. How like her._

Hak teases her again and Yona reaches over, smacking her new husband on the shoulder with an indignant puff of her cheeks. Hak merely laughs, tugging her improperly—Hak had never been one for propriety—into his lap. It was nostalgic thing, something he’d glimpsed so many times during their childhood. Yet now, there was a softness to the way they held each other. A comfort and affection that had grown even past what they’d once been all those years ago.

An unbidden lump formed in his throat at the sight. Before, he would have been here. In the place of their companions. He knew Hak had always placed him as the groom, but Suwon never pictured himself there. He’d pictured himself in the crowd watching the ceremony with watery eyes, throwing chestnuts to be caught, hugging them both after everything was over. His own fortunate dream that he knew would only ever remain such, and yet it was being fulfilled. And perhaps that hurt more—not his dream never being fulfilled, but his dream being fulfilled with someone else in his place.

His place which he had violently cut himself from. His place which he had no business missing.

“Mister and Miss deserve this,” Zeno’s hushed voice breaks Suwon out of his reverie. “They’ve worked very hard to get what they have here. This happiness.”

Suwon can feel Zeno’s gaze on the side of his face. He’d always found something unnervingly perceptive and ageless about it whenever he’d met the young man in the past, and now was no exception.

“Why are you here, King Suwon?” Zeno says, and that usual flippancy to his voice is all but gone.

Suwon swallows. Then, after a very long pause, he dips his head. “I...I’m not sure. I just wanted to be here.”

“If Mister and Missy see you, they will be sad.” Zeno says. “I won’t let that happen, so you best not push your luck by staying too long.”

There was that threat again. This time, it stung like a fresh wound dredged in salt. _Yona and Hak will be upset if they know I’m here. I would ruin their wedding._ He already knew it, and he knew he deserves as much. But it still hurt; their absence in his life remained an aching hole where his in theirs was filled.

“I will leave soon,” Suwon mumbles, sighing. “I just. I wanted to see.”

“See?”

“They’re always so sad when I’m around. I wanted to see them happy again.” _Stop talking._ “I’m the last person in Kouka who deserves to, I understand that, but I needed to see. I’d almost forgotten what their smiles looked like.”

Suwon clamps his mouth shut forcibly. It was the first time he’d voiced this; Ju-doh and Kye-sook would have been furious with him if they found out. Both of them knew that he still clung hopelessly to his affections for his childhood friends, but even despite that, he didn’t want to know how they’d react to him pulling something like this. Even to Lili he couldn’t voice it; his guards never left him alone by her side.It would almost certainly make it back to his advisor should he confide such in her.

Purely by miracle did he manage to get away from them long enough to steal himself from the Inn he was staying at during an impromptu visit to Fuuga. He’d only figured out that the ceremony was happening when he found the invitation at Mundeok’s villa, though he’d been suspicious when Lili had let some details slip during a few of their conversations.

“...That’s the only good reason to be here, Mister King Guy.” Zeno says, leaning his back to rest upon a tree behind him. “For the record, Mister and Miss are happy. They have a lot of pain, but they have found their happiness.”

Suwon nods, then quietly rises to his feet. “Then I shall be on my way.”

“See you later,” Zeno leans his head to the side, smirking. “Your secret is safe with me and Seiryuu.”

Suwon squares his shoulders, adjusts his hood, and steps into the thick brush and away from the lights of the wedding. He quickens his pace once the sounds of the party starts to fade. This wasn’t for him, he wasn’t supposed to be here. Soon his guards will find him, and he has to make sure he was far away from the wedding when that happened.

He doesn’t make it far before leaves crinkle around him, twigs snapping, and he knows they’d already found him. In the darkness of the forest, he stops, spying the large human-shape of Ju-doh weaving his way between the trees.

“Your highness!” He barks, and Suwon holds back a cringe. He hoped he’d made it far enough that no one at the wedding heard.

“Yes, General Ju-doh?” Suwon replies pleasantly.

“Where have you been?” Ju-doh says, and though he can’t see it in the dark, Suwon knows the man is saying it through clenched teeth.

“A moonlit stroll, general. Isn’t it a lovely night?” He keeps his voice light.

“You think me a fool, your highness.” Ju-doh grumbles, and then jabs a finger over Suwon’s shoulder. “What are those lights?”

A spark of panic erupts in the bottom of his stomach, but he doesn’t let it show. He forces his shoulders to relax and strolls past Ju-doh.

“I suppose I’m found out.” Suwon forces out a laugh. “Alright, I attended a Wind Tribe party. They really do throw the best ones.”

“What’s the occasion?” Ju-doh still hasn’t moved.

Suwon stops walking, sparing a glance over his shoulder. “Oh nothing, a local festival of some kind.” He shrugs. “I didn’t really worry over the details.”

“So you snuck away from us to go to a party?” The disbelief is clear in Ju-doh’s voice.

“Even I crave a break from being king for a couple of hours, Ju-doh.” Suwon says. “They didn’t know it was me. I was fine.”

There’s a long pause. Suwon continues walking back in the direction of his inn, his steps decidedly light and carefree. Was he more afraid he’d be caught indulging in his affections, or that Ju-doh would be seen checking the party for himself and thus the night ruined for Hak and Yona? It was a question he didn’t want to answer, because the answer would betray how pathetically he clung to them. He didn’t want to face that. _Please just let it go. Don’t check. Leave them alone._

“...Do you have any idea how dangerous your wandering is?” Ju-doh finally says, and begins to follow behind him.

Suwon stifles a sigh of relief. “I apologize for worrying you.”

“Well, I hope you got it out of your system.” Ju-doh says, falling into step with Suwon.

“Yes,” Suwon narrows his eyes on the ground. The images of his old friends; smiling, happy, radiant—he closes them off from his mind. They are the past, and that is where he needs to leave them. Where he should have left them a long time ago.

“This is the last time I intend to do something like this.”

 


End file.
